I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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