i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
