??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize