Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
