dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
