Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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