Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i've created a new STD.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
