Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
