I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
