so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
