he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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