Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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