If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
