I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
