Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
