Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
