Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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