Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
