then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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