we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
