I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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