This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
