Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have fence marks all over my body
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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