ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize