Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
are you so shy because you have an std?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
