He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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