Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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