don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Fuck appropriateness.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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