i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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