Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
