i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm at about main and main street
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
