i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
