This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
