is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Houston, we have a squirter
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
