i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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