You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize