I hope mine doesn't look like that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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