and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
