Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
