All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
