Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
