Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
