I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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