Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is wine microwaveable?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
