My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize