Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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