if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
