I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize