Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
