he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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