I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
