between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
