Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize