I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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