Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
