It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
