just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
