Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
