Its about making memories worth repressing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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