quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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