absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
